Leave it to Beaver

Some people always do the opposite of what you ask them.

Cool story, indeed.

Jesus always was a great story teller. Unfortunately, "pics or it didn't happen" had not been invented yet.

Not Jesus, but close enough!

Who is Betty Bowers? Why, she's only America's Best Christian, that's who! Jesus loves her best, and anything good that YOU do is automatically inferior to anything good that SHE does! That's why I made this picture: to give you a proper sense of low self-esteem every time you find yourself thinking that you might have bragging rights to feeding an orphaned Sudanese child in the name of Sweet Jesus. Rest assured that Betty has not only fed several dozen of the little buggers, but showed them how to dress properly for Sunday School.

Praise the Lord...

...and don't Bogart that joint!

Another example of my mad Photoshop skillz0rz! This picture is free for use by anyone, anywhere, as I believe in spreading the Good News of God's word. :o] Just post a link back here, will you?

CTHULHU FHTAGN!!

IA!!




I just spent half an hour Photoshopping this. It turned out well, don't you think? Feel free to use it anywhere. :o)

Jesus glurge in pictures

What is glurge? Many of you have probably never heard the word. You know those sickly-sweet emails you get that involve puppies, kittens, angels, little girls with disabilities, Jesus, truckers with hearts of gold, or some combination of the above? Well, that's glurge. They always have some rather sketchy moral tale to tell, it always involves angels and/or Jesus Christ, and it nearly always contains the admonition that you must forward the email to 5, 10, 15 or more of your friends if you want good luck or God's blessings.

Today, I received a glurge in pictorial form. Yes! Pictures! Because mere words are not enough to convey the message that Jesus is your Heavenly Physician, dispensing moral advice with an off-handed flippancy that would shame even the most apathetic of mortal doctors. It is GLORIOUS in its syrupy sweetness, a wonder of sugar-coated religiosity that manages to say absolutely nothing while giving the impression that you have just been handed the Keys to the Kingdom. I love this glurge, and I reproduce it here for your edification:





You might want to get those feet-holes sewn up, Jesus, if you're going to go tramping around in the sand like that.